What Bicycling Taught Me About Life.

Good evening friends. As many of you know over the previous two days I participated in a 150 mile bicycle ride benefitting the MS Society. My brother and a handful of friends rode along with me. We rode 75 miles each day. This bike ride was the single most physically gruelling thing I've ever done in life. There were parts of each days ride when I wanted to quit and simply give up. There were support vans driving all along the route and any one of them would have gladly given me a ride to the end of the course. The ride was so physically taxing that I shed tears at the finish line each day. Yesterday at the end of the 150 miles, when I pedaled into the fair grounds in Lucas County I was overwhelmed with a wave of emotions and for a few moments simply sobbed uncontrollably. This weekend taught me and reminded me of some things about living life. It's not possible to participate in an event like this and be the same person afterwards.

These are the life lessons I learned from bicycling.

1. Never quit. There were times along the route when I was literally so tired I was concerned that I might not be able to keep my bicycle upright any longer. There were times when all I could focus on was simply staring straight ahead and forcing myself to pedal on a little farther. There were moments when I would literally argue with myself about whether I was going to quit or not. There weren't mile markers along the route but I knew each rest stop was 10 -12 miles apart. It seemed when things got toughest right over the next hill or around the next curve would be a rest stop.

  Life is much the same way. I wonder how many times I've quit or given up when relief was only a short distance away? Human beings are designed to naturally dislike physical and emotional discomfort. How many times have we stopped because life got a little too hard when in all reality we could have pressed on just a little bit farther? I learned this past weekend that there is a lot of reward to simply pushing on. Don't quit in life my friends. When things seem the hardest there's probably another rest stop just over the next hill.

2. Never, ever hesitate to offer encouragement to others. Along the 150 miles of bicycling I found a lot of encouragement in a lot of things. At one point near Gibsonburg High School there was a sing posted by the wrestling team that said "Pain don't hurt. Thank you MS riders." My body was feeling some pain but I couldn't help but smile after seeing this. Along the route the MS volunteers had painted smiley faces on the road. Every single one of them helped me to push on a little farther. Many times folks that lived along the route would wave to us from their porches. Cars along the way would honk and wave at us. All of the volunteers at the rest stops were friendly and encouraging. Many of the other riders would offer positive encouragement. Most importantly at nearly every rest stop I would check my cell phone and there would be texts and Facebook messages from dozens of my friends from all around the country. Words can not express how important those encouraging messages were in my journey. Over a hundred people from roughly 12 different states made an effort to let me know they were rooting for me to make it.

  The same lesson applies in life. Never hesitate to offer a word of encouragement to others. Never hesitate to let a friend know that you are thinking of them. You never know when taking that minute to communicate with someone might just be the spark that propels them to push on just a little bit farther.

3. Always take a moment to check on others. Along the route whenever a rider was stopped on the side of the road I would always make sure they were ok. Midway through Day one I had some issues with my back tire and it was comforting to have other riders stop to make sure we were ok. Later in day one of my friends became dizzy and we stopped to wait for a support vehicle and other riders stopped to make sure we didn't need anything. No matter where you are at in life always take a moment to make sure other people are ok too. It's just the right thing to do and if nothing else will make you feel better about yourself.

4. The hard parts always offer the most lessons. During the difficult times I tended to meditate and pray more. Through the tears and pain and discomfort I found that I could physically achieve more than I ever thought I could.

  The hard times in life always offer the most life lessons. My friends often remind me that when I'm struggling that I have a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow. I've found this to be true some many different times in life. I don't have problems I just have opportunities for growth.

The rewards from finishing the ride were all well worth the struggle my friends. I hope you all purchase bicycles and start riding because I definitely intend on being back next year. If I can do it I know that you can too. I'd love nothing more than to share the beautiful life changing experience I had this weekend with as many friends as possible year after year after year. Thank you all for being a beacon of light on my journey of life. I wouldn't be the man I am without you all.

Dan

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes.

Happy weekend everyone. I have the pleasure of writing this blog at approximately 4 am EST as I'm unable to sleep. I'm highly pleased it's Saturday as I hope most of my friends are as well. The Cardinals are in the World Series and I'm pretty psyched about that. Anyway let's talk about politics for a while shall we?

Very little has changed in American politics since the mid 1990's. I'm guessing the un-changing of the guard dates back many years before that but the mid 1990's was when I became aware of and interested in American politics. We elect Democrats and become unhappy with the way things are going and then elect Republicans. Most areas of the country are solidly either Republican or Democrat. As American voters we are pressured to identify with one political party or the other. When a Republican is President he blames all the countries problems on the Democrats and all the Democrats whine and bellyache and plot and scheme to win the next Presidential election. When a Democrat is President he blames all of the countries problems on Republicans and Republicans whine and bellyache and plot and scheme about how to win the next election.

In all reality it's absurd that we as Americans would totally identify with either party. For instance I don't think all of my Republican friends are anti gay rights or opposed to social security. I don't think all of my Democrat friends are pro-choice or pro-union. Polls suggest that 70 % of Americans identify themselves as Moderates, or centrist and opposed to either the extreme left of extreme right. This tells me that most Americans are similar to me and identify with some conservative ideology and some liberal platforms as well. Yet we allow ourselves to be pigeonholed as Republican or Democrat and then commence to sling as much mud as possible at the other party.

Then there are those who claim they hate politics and can't understand why Republicans and Democrats are always arguing. These folks tend to be unmotivated to watch candidates debates, peruse the news about political happenings and vote the same party no matter what happens. These folks tend to vote the same way as their parents or significant others or other influential people in their lives.

I have several Republican friends decrying what they perceive to be the socialist actions of our current President Barack Obama. These same folks tend to overlook or "forget" the similar actions committed by our previous President George W. Bush. These folks and their opponents go back and forth constantly much to my entertainment. Up until this part of the blog things have been relatively non-partisan and I warn you that's likely to change in the near future.

I was raised in an ultra-conservative Republican home. My Father listened to talk radio most days and loved Rush Limbaugh. When I became interested in politics it's likely I would have considered myself to be a Republican. That began to change while I was in college. When I was a student at our local community college a good friend of mine, who happened to be gay, desired to start a support group for gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgendered folks. Now you must understand dear reader that Coles County Illinois is not what you would call an open-minded community. You wouldn't call the citizens there progressive thinkers. Me, being the type to have never found a controversy I didn't like, quickly joined his cause. As you can imagine this created quite a stir in our small community. Now our community college happened to have a college sanctioned club called the Young Republicans. This group of folks strongly opposed the starting of this support group of gay folks. Their obdurate opposition (I think they were afraid God would cause a natural calamity to destroy our campus) to this club caused me to realize that much of the Republican party was full of shit. How can a political party oppose a whole group of folks being treated with the same rights as any other group of folks?

After my brief and tumultuous stint in college I began to identify with being a moderate American, albeit one who leans a little more left than center. I've been a union member off and on throughout my adult life and yes you guessed it; many Republicans are anti union. I've actually volunteered to help campaign for a few different local and state politicians over the years and I thoroughly enjoy a good political debate. It's just the fact that when I debate with folks they always fall into the cadence of their pledged party. This must stop if we are to bring about any change as Americans my friends.

Here's the deal. I don't hate "W." I don't really even find it necessary to call him names. Do I believe he meant well? Absolutely! Do I think he was in over his head as a President? Absolutely! That doesn't make him a bad person that just means I cringed the day he got reelected. Having said that you may ask my opinion of our current President. I'm not madly in love with him folks. I'm not happy about some of the government loans that have been doled out to companies that have went bust. I do think Barack Obama is a great compromiser. I also think he's way more qualified to be our President than any of the Republican candidates.

I don't hate the Tea Party either. Of course if you know me you can understand that I'm not a fan of it either. I can relate with their agenda of demanding fiscal responsibility out of our government. I just feel the Tea Party is a tad (OK a lot) too conservative for my tastes. Spending much of their efforts attempting to prove Barack Obama wasn't a natural citizen caused them to look like buffoons. I have close friends who claim to be Tea Party members. It's hard for me to imagine these folks wanting the rich to continue getting richer while the middle class goes away but that's the agenda of the organization they support. On the flip side I'm not totally buying into the Occupy protests either. I'm a fan of reckless rebelliousness in general but I'm not sure that the Occupy folks are bringing forth a clear and concise agenda. What I do know is that the Tea Party folks absolutely hate the Occupy folks. Actually the Tea Party folks appear to hate everyone that's not similar to them.

So how do we end this vicious cycle of insanity you ask gentle readers? It's not simple and I really don't have all the answers. I do know it's extremely sad that nearly half of our eligible voters in America don't even bother to vote. It's sad that as loyal party-ists we continue to sling half truths at each other. It's sad that folks buy completely into what Fox News is selling. The Fox news supporters always accuse me of watching MSNBC for some reason although I'm a fan of Channel 13 ABC for local news and I happen to watch CNN, granted I watch sports way more than I watch the news. It's a shame that we allow our pledged parties to dictate how we think and act. It's a shame that we allow there to be career politicians who spend decades working half a year "representing" us. I honestly believe we need a third party somewhere along the way to end the insanity of our current un-changed political landscape.

Right now many people are unhappy with the conditions in our country so it's possible Republicans could win the next presidential elections. Although I believe they've got to find a candidate that at least appears to be a little more moderate. We'll continue to sling mud at each other and allow half truths to be told in order to support our parties candidates. We'll keep trudging the way we do now. The rich will get richer. The poor will get poorer. More and more folks will be without health insurance if Republicans have their way with the weakening of unions. We'll also work more hours for less money and receive a lot less in our benefits packages although we'll continue to pay increasingly more money for said benefits. Republicans don't believe this however. They take their 40 hour work weeks, health and benefits and safe working conditions for granted. I think they forget they have those blessings in their life because once upon a time a union bargained for them.

I digress. My seven year old daughter today asked me how old she had to be to vote. She guessed 13. When I told her the voting age was 18, she informed me that when she turned 18 that she would just vote for whomever I told her too. I informed her that if that was the case then I had failed as a Father. For you see I want my Children to grow up learning to think for themselves. I know they will be influenced greatly by their upbringing but I remember being a lad and being forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh everyday. People can change. It's unfortunate that politics rarely do.

So long folks.

A Dollar and a Drink

This is a poem I wrote a while ago. I don't know if it's finished. It's just some mindless babble that spilled out on paper. Read it at your own risk.

A Dollar and a Drink

I knew I should give my soul to Jesus.
So I went to church to find the preacherman.
He said "boy your appearance don't please us"
Your dirty unshaven and don't look like a christian man.
I said tell me how to give my soul to God.
Won't you tell me how to be free?
He looked to the door and pointed with a nod
We've no time for your type son we're busy you see.

I stumbled down the street thirstily.
Past the liquor store and tattoo parlor.
Wondering why God's people acted so unjustly.
Wondering where I could find a dollar.

I got a dollar and got a drink.
Numbed up, dumbed up and discontented.
It was hard, hard to think.
Desperately troubled and discontented.


I walked in an alley and saw the devil.
I says hey devil here's my soul how much will you give me.
He said hey I'll give it to you on the level.
Your dirty and drunk and homeless, not much value I see.
Take my soul I pleaded surely you've something to give.
He laughed. Said I don't want you.
You've no will to even live.
I'll give a dollar to be rid of you.


I got a dollar and a drink.
number still than before.
God don't want me I don't think.
I sat in front of the liquor store.


The law came and took me away.
They put me in a dirty cage.
I stayed there and slept all day.
I woke up in a dirty cage.


I said hey devil I thought you didn't want me.
He didn't say nothing back.
I yelled come back and fight me.
The law came back.

They put me in a hospital with the doors locked down tight.
They said I was crazy.
I said I need a drink all right.
I need a drink like crazy.


They asked if I wanted to speak to the preacherman.
I laughed and said hell no.
I don't want to talk to the preacher man.
He already told me to go.

If the devil doesn't want me why am I in hell?
He gave me a dollar once for a drink.
When I would drink again I couldn't tell.
It was hard, hard to think.


I stumbled down the dirty street.
Walking to the liquor store.
I had a friend there to meet.
A steady friend for sure.


I bought another drink and drank with my friend.
He kept me calm and warm at night.
I found someone to take my soul in the end.
Me and my drink all right.


My drink in my hand was all I needed.
Take me with you tonight I said.
Take my soul with you I pleaded.
I stopped and laid down my head.


When I wake up again tomorrow I think.
I'll find another dollar.
I'll go get another drink.
Down at the liquor store past the tattoo parlor.

Lost ?

He reached up and grabbed the brim of his ball cap, pulling the hat down a little more snugly on his head. Rain drops steadily dripped off the edge of the brim. He had been trudging for several hours in the steady and persistent rain. The evening had slowly drifted into the black darkness of night. He hunched his shoulders briefly against the chill of the raindrops on the back of his neck. His gait had slowed, yet he stubbornly pushed forward.

He had started his journey with a fair idea of where his destination lie. He knew the trek wouldn't be one of ease but was convinced it was worth the effort. The rain was steady. His clothing had long ago gave way and had become soaked through. He was just this side of uncomfortable in the night's chill. Yet he stubbornly pushed forward.

As hour after hour drifted by he became a little less certain of his destination. He knew he had started in the right direction on this journey. He doggedly clung to the hope that he was still on the right path. The darkness and the damned pesky, steady rain had a disorienting effect at times. Yet he stubbornly pushed forward.

His shoulders started to ache with the strain of being hunched against the rain on the back of his neck. He tugged the brim of his soggy ball cap down even tighter on his head. His hands jammed deep into the pockets of his soaked through jeans, he stubbornly pushed forward.

He thought of stopping and sitting and resting for a while. His feet were tired. He tried to mentally summon the rosy warmth of sitting before a fire, but the cold, steady rain wouldn't allow it. Left foot, right foot, each plodding step adding to the tiredness of his feet. His feet were cold and wet. Yet he stubbornly pushed forward.

Was he still walking in the right direction? He wasn't so certain anymore. Surely he was. He doggedly clung to the hope he was moving in the right direction. The raindrops steadily dripped from the brim of his cap. He wished he had a shred of dry clothing with which to wipe his face. Yet he stubbornly pushed forward.

He thought of stopping and sitting and resting for a while. He was so tired. He knew this trek was not going to be one of ease. He had lost the certainty that the effort was worth it. He desperately wished the rain would let up. His feet hurt. His lower back ached. His shoulders were stiff from hunching against the cold rain on the back of his neck. He tugged the brim of his hat down lower and continued to push forward. Surely his destination was near.



Just a short story that's been going through my mind lately. I sometimes go through periods of life were I relate to the man in this story, trudging and all the while becoming less and less certain I'm heading in the right direction in life. Sometimes I feel like I'm muddling around in the dark. Yet I continue to push forward, hoping it's in the right direction.

Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday friends.

Casey Anthony. Innocent?

Very good morning friends and faithful blog readers. I hope y'all enjoyed your holiday weekend. I know this year's 3 day Independence Day celebration was amongst the best I've ever enjoyed. How can you go wrong with a weekend full of swimming pools, fireworks, lots of junk food and being surrounded with many good friends? I don't see how it gets any better than that and if it did I'd need two of me to process all that fun. I wish I could bottle up that merriment and save it for a rainy day, but alas, I can not.

Unfortunately today's blog doesn't contain any merriment or joy. There is a good possibility that many of you reading it will disagree with me, some of you very passionately. I'm fine with that. I believe that as an amateur writer and recreational blogger I simply can't avoid writing about topics that others may disagree with. Many of you (did you catch the title of the dang blog?) have already surmised that I'll be tackling the Casey Anthony trial. You're right. It's not going to necessarily be fun nor will it be popular, but I believe someone has to do it.

Let's get some disclaimers out of the way now. I must admit I'm not a forensics expert, but I have read a lot of mystery novels. I was not at any point during the whole mess that is the Casey Anthony investigation and trial an avid follower of such mess. Frankly I'm quite disgusted and nearly physically ill that the media is so sensational in their coverage of said mess. There is not one fiber of my being that believes that any of the media coverage has been fair, balanced and unbiased. The fact that so many people would expend so much energy to follow this trial, to fight to get a seat in the court room or in any way be a part of the "tourism" surrounding this trial sickens me. I do readily admit to stepping off to an alternative drum cadence than most citizens and on days like today I'm actually grateful that I do. I truly don't "get" what all the sustained media attention is all about. It's possible that I may be too busy actually living a life to get so completely caught up in the hoopla. Anyway let's get on with the task of deciphering the madness.

The fact of the matter is that the jury in the Casey Anthony trial got the verdict right. I know this is not the main stream opinion but since when have I ever allowed that to influence my beliefs? The prosecutors in this trial presented a lot of circumstantial evidence and almost no physical evidence. Prosecuting teams always bear the "burden of proof." In laymen terms that means they have the job of convincing the jury that beyond any reasonable doubt the accused committed the crime. Cut through all of your emotions for a moment and honestly tell me that you believe they presented enough facts to convince you 100 percent without even a hint of a doubt that Casey Anthony murdered her daughter. I simply can't make that statement.

The prosecution team presented new "pseudo-scientific" evidence that a decomposing body was once in Ms. Anthony's trunk. Yes my friends they put some air from her trunk in a syringe and tested it. Did you catch the part about there being a bag of trash in her trunk when they found her car? The prosecution team claimed that the duct tape and bags found with Caylee Anthony's body were similar to ones found in Casey's home. There's your evidence. They also talked a lot about Casey Anthony partying, getting a tattoo and basically doing everything she could to be uncooperative with the investigation. What the prosecution didn't do was find any fingerprints at the crime scene. They didn't find any blood in the trunk of the car. They didn't find any hair or DNA samples of Casey's at the place the body was found. As a matter of fact the prosecution team couldn't even truthfully determine exactly how little Caylee Anthony died.

That paragraph was a little difficult to write. Whew...this writer will not shrink from this task. Let's get a few more things out of the way here. I'm a proud father of 3 beautiful children. The fact that a nearly 3 year old girl was murdered is something that I can't truly wrap my mind around. Casey Anthony "failed" to report her daughter missing for 31 days! She spent those 31 days partying and getting a tattoo! She constantly lied about everything she could possible lie about while she was being investigated. She is a hideous monster of a parent who was criminally negligent in caring for her child. Let's get this last tidbit out of the way now. I believe that Casey Anthony murdered her daughter.

How can one writer defend the jury's not guilty verdict and then confess he believes the defendant committed the crime you ask oh gentle reader? Easy, nobody really cares about what I believe and the world doesn't adhere to my belief system (thank God.) For example, I believe rap music is a waste of ear space, that Pete Rose belongs in the Baseball Hall of Fame, that Merle Haggard is the most artistic singer/songwriter to ever grace planet Earth and that people should almost revere baseball stadiums as much as they do churches. Most of my crazy ideas and beliefs are very much in the minority. I'm OK with that. My belief, and frankly many of yours as well, that Casey Anthony killed her daughter doesn't prove that she did.

Folks we live in the United States of America, the greatest damn Nation in the world. Our legal system is flawed for sure. Loopholes, human error and the luxury of hiring the best legal teams tarnish many trials. However we are also still a Nation that guarantees the inalienable right of the accused of being "innocent until proven guilty." Casey Anthony was found not guilty by a jury of her peers. Those 12 men and women obviously found some shred of doubt that Casey was guilty and brought forth the verdict of not guilty. Thankfully they chose not to participate in the media circus after issuing the verdict. Casey Anthony will walk away a free woman whether we like it or not. For better or worse, this is our legal system. Be mindful of the fact that this same legal system has put to death many innocent people. This same legal system acquitted O.J. Simpson of murder and then found him guilty of that same murder in a civil trial. Casey Anthony is beyond any reasonable doubt a complete failure as a human being. She is nothing short of a train wreck waiting to happen. This doesn't prove that she murdered anyone.

Write this down. Casey Anthony will ultimately destroy any life that she has left attempting to get past the hell she has caused herself. The fact that she behaved in the manner that she did after her daughter "disappeared" causes me to hope she never finds another single solitary moment of peace or serenity in her life again.

Little Caylee Anthony is currently residing in a much more pleasant environment than the screwed up Anthony family could have ever provided her. Those that sent her to that place of peace will some day experience hell in one form or another. Karma insists that this is true.

Try to have a good day friends. I'm going to try not to mope around the next several hours pondering the sickness and evil that lurks in our world. God help us all.

Freedom.

Happy July my friends. July 1st for me is always the day when I wake up and say "where did June go?" It's a day to remember that it's Summer and a month of it has already slipped away. It's also a time for build up to my favorite holiday of the year; Indapendance Day. I'm some what of a history buff, which probably explains why I enjoy this particular day so much. Speaking of history, I don't care how you try to defend it, Sarah Palin made a large snafu with the whole Paul Revere thing. I don't think she is that "special" to not know the facts I think she just misspoke. You think Mrs. Palin believes Mr. Obama is an American citizen yet?

Moving right along now. I love the Declaration of Independence. I love the story of John Hancock and his rather large signature. General Washington and Valley Forge and stories of the continental congress stimulate me. I love American History. I was raised in a family that believed in taking your hat off when the flag went by and putting that hat over your heart when the National Anthem is sang. I grew up saying the Pledge of Allegiance every morning in school and I didn't feel it violated my rights at all. I often still get goose bumps and a hint of tears in my eyes when America the Beautiful is played. I've karaoked (not well) Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the U.S.A. Johnny Cash singing "Ragged Old Flag" is currently a selection on my MP3 player. I even once got into a physical altercation in Canada (and was briefly detained by the authorities) after over hearing a Canadian speak badly about the United States. I was ready to fight the entire country of Canada that night and frankly I liked my chances.

Yes my friends I'm damn proud to be an American. I believe we reside in the greatest nation on this planet. I am convinced we have the baddest military in the World. I'm not always pleased with the direction our political leaders are heading but I am truly grateful to live in a country where I have the freedom to openly criticize them. I believe Rick Monday is a genuine American Hero for protecting our flag from being burnt. (If you don't know who Rick Monday is Google him now. Seriously stop reading and Google him.) I fully concur with him when he said if you're going to burn our country's flag don't do it around me. The Supreme Court may have protected flag burners under freedom of speech but I'm not always that open minded.

I also believe that our American Servicemen and Women are heroes. Kids if you're going to idolize anyone let it be our Father's and Uncles and Grandfathers (and in many cased Mothers) who have served on foreign land witnessing acts of violence and depravity that you and I will never have to imagine. Men and women have given the most precious things they had to defend our freedom. These men and women gave their very last breath. Yes my friends the 4th of July is a very special day for me.

A little over 5 years ago it started to become even more special for a different reason. Just a month over 5 years ago I was freed from the bondage of alcoholism. The disease of alcoholism had led me to the gates of a literal living hell. Many folks in society had written me and my kind off as unsalvagable. I lived a hopeless and helpless existance, one I wouldn't wish on anyone (even Canadians.) When I finally reached the place in life where I firmly beleived suicide to be my only viable option a group of sober folks entered my life and showed me a better way to live. They taught me that a group of 12 principles could free me from the bondage of alcohol. Over the years I've watched folks literally die from the disease of addiction and I believe them doing so has allowed me to live a free life. I get goose bumps and teary eyed thinking back to the early days of my recovery and remembering how awesome it was to once again have a glimmer of hope in my life.

These sober folks took me by the hand and literally helped walk me to freedom. They provided me the freedom to live and smile and laugh again. They provided me the freedom to live indoors with a roof and a bed and blankets and food. They helped grant me the freedom to learn to be a Dad and to learn to hold a job and to pay my bills and be productive in society. I honestly believe I can never do enough to repay this group of sober people for the blessed life they've taught me to live. Since that day, a little over 5 years ago, Independence Day has taken on a new and very special meaning for me. Let freedom ring my friends let freedom ring!

It's also important for me to note that if you or someone you know is seeking this same freedom from alcohol, there is help available. I'm not speaking of American Airlines but the help you are looking for is just ahead of them in a phone book. God Bless the U.S. of A.

“Free at last; free at last; thank God Almighty we are free at last.” Martin Luther King Jr. Civil Rights leader.

It's an Inside Job

Happy Hump Day my friends! Wednesday has long been one of my favorite days of the week, although I frequently make things up to justify most days as being my favorite. I believe it has something to do with the rose collared glasses I often wear. On Wednesdays my son Spenser plays peewee baseball. I often gather with some of my closest friends on Wednesday evenings and I'm usually off of work Wednesday nights. I only work one more day (Thursday night) after Wednesday so my work week is nearly over. See, those are lots of good things about Wednesday! It's apparent from all of this that I have watched way too much Sesame Street lately. You tend to do that when you're a parent. Enough of this madness. Is there supposed to be a topic in this blog?

I've been noticing lately how many people seem to attempt to change their externals in an attempt to find happiness. It's likely due to the fact that I'm now 32 and have lived most of my life like a wayward gypsy, but I've learned long ago that happiness comes from within. Experience is our best teacher in life and I've been guilty many times of trying to manipulate life into providing me happiness.

I've tried nearly every combination that a guy can try. I've often believed if I only lived in this particular city and worked that job, making that much money and drove that kind of vehicle and dated this kind of woman I'd be happy. This insane thinking has lead to one heck of a tumultuous life my friends. I've lived in six different states. I've held over 40 different jobs. I've been married and divorced twice and dated several other unfortunate women. I've moved from apartments to houses and back to apartments again. All of this created stress and chaos in my life and only fleeting smiles.

I'm not alone in this. We see many folks who constantly chase the latest fads in technology hoping that the next smart phone or video game system will do the trick. Some folks are constantly buying the latest and greatest $150 sneakers and $200 jeans and Ed Hardy T-shirts. (Yes I do indeed know folks who have paid $100 plus for a single T-shirt.) Some people buy a new car every two years or a new house every three. Some folks sit at home all day on Facebook wishing they had a job. Others go to work constantly and wish they didn't have to work. Many folks have the notion that if they could only win the lottery they'd be happy. I know people who cause extreme amounts of destruction in their lives by constantly chasing different lovers.

Single folks wish they had someone and couples wish they were single. People spend hundreds of dollars a month on tanning and manicures and pedicures and get their hair done. Folks spend thousands attempting to alter their bodies in their pursuit of happiness. We live in a society that's keen on constantly keeping up with the "Jones" or more accurately in today's world the Kardashians.

I'm not opposed to anyone accumulating wealth and possesions. If you have the means to pamper yourself daily then you should. It just all changed for me one day when someone sat down with me and explained that happiness is an inside job. Our forefathers and the men who founded this grand nation believed that it is each individuals right to pursue happiness. They were right (although this nation also has a long history of defining who can pursue what i.e. slavery, women's liberation and homosexual rights. However these are all topics for another blog.) Each and every Man and Woman living on this orbiting rock we call Earth has a right to pursue what makes them happy. I'm simply of the belief that you shouldn't have to pursue it any farther than looking at the person sitting in front of your computer screen.

One of my favorite all time sayings is that "happiness is a by-product of right living." This is a tried and true fact in my life today. The more things I do in life that are the right things to do the happier I am. I gave up a long time ago attempting to impress folks. Actually that's only partially true. I often still find myself wanting to impress Amy (my fiancee and the love of my life) and sometimes my children. Most other folks just aren't important enough for me to try to mold myself into how they think I should act or live.

Seven and a half years ago I moved from Nashville, TN to Toledo, OH. Now friends Nashville is an absolutely wonderful place to live. I loved Nashville. Toledo on the other hand is not exactly a typical vacation destination. I used to despise Toledo for many reasons when I first relocated here. Then some amazing events transpired and I began to find myself becoming happier despite my surroundings. That I believe is the whole key to the issue of happiness. Finding the inner peace and inner security of being OK with who you are.

There is a reason why many famous and wealthy celebrities get divorced. Wealthy folks sometimes have problems with alcohol and drugs and with committing crimes. There is a reason they hire public relations people. On the other hand it's not a coincidence that you can often hear riotous laughter in impoverished neighborhoods. Don't get me wrong, I'm not claiming you have to be poor to be happy. I'm just saying that wealth and possessions do not define your level of happiness.

A man once told me I should find my "happy" in life and chase that. So I asked myself tonight "What makes me happy?" Spending time with my significant other and my children make me happy. Enjoying the company of my close friends brings a lot of laughter to my life. Laughing is something that I love to do and could use more of in my life. I enjoy talking with people and as Amy puts it "hemming and hawing." You know sitting on the back deck doing a lot of nothing but just shooting the breeze with folks. I love to go on road trips and I enjoy exploring new places. I like to find new adventures each day. I enjoy tucking my children into bed at night and waking up with them in the morning. I love those lazy days at home with my family when we all stay in our pajamas until well past noon. I enjoy reading books and learning things. I also enjoy being by myself sometimes. Taking a walk or driving to the library or simply sitting in the back yard and reading. I enjoy listening to good music and love discovering new bands to enjoy. (Special thanks to my friend Matt B for introducing me to Wilco recently.) These are the things I live for my friends.

Sure I'd really like to win the mega millions. I'd like to drive a Ferrari some day. I'd like to have enough money to play high stakes poker with the world's best players. It would be cool to travel around the world and see exotic locations. However I'm thoroughly convinced that none of these things would bring me any more joy than having a good cup of coffee with a good friend. It's the simple things in life that make me smile and thus the simple things in life I pursue.

So in summation friends, go ahead and plan that relocation to Miami or New York. Stand in line for a whole day just to be the first to buy the next pair of Nike's. Go shopping, chase new lovers and live with reckless abandon. Just make sure your happy before you do these things. One of my favorite poets said it best, “Nothing can bring you happiness but yourself.” That would be the late great Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Now go and chase your happiness friends. While your looking for it stop over and have coffee with me and let's just sit on the back porch and shoot the breeze. That's where I've found some of the most happy moments in my life.