Jim Tressel

Happy Memorial Day friends and blog followers. I truly am grateful to the Men and Women who have given their lives to ensure that my family and I can enjoy the freedoms we have today. Both of my Grandfathers served in the military. My Grandpa Leon Sours served in WWII and Korea. My Uncle Sam Sours served 5 tours in Vietnam. Yes you read that correctly; 5 tours, in the Army special forces. The last 2 tours were served trying to find POW/MIA individuals and bringing them home. These family members are true American heroes. I'd also like to remind everyone that there are individuals who are daily laying their lives on the line on foreign soil in service to our great country. Whether we agree with the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan or not, these individuals deserve our honor and respect. I've helped treat several veterans from these conflicts at the alcohol and drug treatment center I work at and I can tell you that Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome is a legitimate diagnosis. Some of the most heart wrenching things I've witnessed is watching these individuals screaming out in their sleep, wrestling with night terrors that you and I will never have to know. As my family and I prepare for the pool party and cook out we are going to attend we will say a prayer thanking God for these folks. Hug a veteran today would ya?

That having been said I'm extremely disappointed in the fact that Ohio State made the decision to announce Jim Tressel's resignation today. I'm probably one of the biggest Ohio State Football fans in Northwest Ohio, yet I feel it was in poor taste to announce this on Memorial Day. I'm sure that somewhere along the line a publicist thought this would benefit Ohio State to make this announcement on a holiday. Memorial Day should be about honoring our veterans, not about watching newscasts dominated by a football coach resigning amidst allegations of wrong doing.

Now about those allegations. Let's be real here folks. Jim Tressel hasn't been accused of recruiting violations, nor has he been accused of financially supporting his players. His biggest wrongdoing was simply not reporting his knowledge that his players were selling their own personal property to attempt to make ends meet. I'm not exonerating the players at all. What they did were wrong. What Jim Tressel did was wrong. They all broke the rules and should suffer some consequences. I do however find it difficult to stomach that men who have become millionaires on the backs of college football would be the ones allowed to judge these athletes who grew up extremely poor in urban areas. Terrelle Pryor is an exceptionally gifted athlete who felt the need to sell some of his own hard earned college awards. I'm not Terrelle Pryor, but I've been broke and I understand the desperation that can bring. College athletes do not receive compensation for playing sports. They are provided an opportunity to receive a free college education. In comparison Mark Emmert the current CEO of the NCAA was paid nearly a million dollars a year as the President of the University of Washington. Do any of you truly believe that Mr. Emmert has ever been financially desperate enough to pawn his belongings?

I don't know what the solution is to the dilemma of college athletes hustling. I do feel like the NCAA has to do something. You simply can not take individuals out of urban areas, make them some of the most famous athletes in their respective states and expect them to eat ramen noodles and ride bicycles around their respective campuses. It's a broken system that somewhere along the way needs to be repaired.

Back to the topic of Jim Tressel. He is one of the most wildly successful football coaches college football has ever seen. It's worth noting that almost every single individual who has ever played for him admires him. He seems to be loyal to a fault to the men who play for him. Until this past year he was widely viewed as an honorable man with impeccable integrity. We now know that he was covering evidence of wrong doing from his players and it feels a little foreign using words like "integrity" and "honor" when describing him. I don't see any other way around him having to leave as Ohio State football coach simply for the fact that he has lost the trust he once had.

I had the honor and privelege of meeting Jim this past spring. As a matter of fact if you watched Channel 13 ABC's noon newscast you would have seen footage of Jim Tressel and I sitting at Sylvania Country Club. Jim gave a speech that day apologizing for what had happened to Buckeye Football and he took responsibility for those things that he did wrong. It's worth noting that I learned that day the Jim Tressel and his wife had donated millions to Ohio State University Hospital and their new cancer center. I believe he is a good man at heart. I don't think the footage we saw of Ohio State football players volunteering in poor neighborhoods in New Orleans before the Sugar Bowl were for public relations only. I think he legitametly attempted to make the athletes he coached better men. I don't know why he did the things he did but I know that Ohio State lost a really good football coach today.

Did you hear the rumor that Urban Meyer recently purchased a home in Columbus, OH? Boy wouldn't that be something! Go Bucks.

If My Life Were a Baseball Game

It's another stormy humid day in Northwest Ohio. A perfect day to wastefully consume memory space in the world wide web. I suppose I might as well use the space rather than let another republican conspiracy theorist use it to speculate the Barack Obama isn't American.

I love baseball. It is one of my true passions in life. As I write this I'm watching the Cubs and Mets play on WGN. I hate the Cubs and could care less about the Mets, but it's baseball. Anyone who knows me or has even heard of me knows that I bleed Cardinal red. The St. Louis Cardinals are my one true lifetime love. The story is infamous now, but I once told an ex-wife that I loved the Cardinals more than I loved her.

I also love living life. I haven't always felt that way however. There have been many times in my past when I wondered if the alternative to living wasn't a better option. There were times when I would easily spend an evening entertaining suicidal thoughts. It's been many years since I've had an evening like that. Today I live a fairly decent life and I'd like to someday tell tall tales to my great-grandchildren. What if my life were compared to a baseball game?

It's a baseball game pitting me against life. I suppose in the first innings the odds makers would have given me pretty even odds to be successful. They would have taken into consideration my genetics and environment. Although I grew up poor I also grew up in a fairly loving and somewhat supportive family. They would have scored points in my favor for the academic accolades in my early school years and likely deduced that I was well on my way to winning the baseball game in life.

An inning or two later things would have been completely flipped upside down. This is the stage of life when I would have started to enter into the early phases of alcoholism. Large quantities of alcohol poisoning my body and allowing the team of "life" to score many runs. Life scored runs with each subsequent marriage and divorce (there are two of them.) Each time I lost a job due to my immaturity and alcoholism life hit home runs and grand slams. Each time I picked up and moved to a different state seeking a new start only to have the same problems, life scored again and again. When life was at bat the bases began to look like a carousel. In these middle innings of the baseball game of life I'm sure that the ones who were interested began to drift away. Much like fans do during a literal baseball game when the outcome is all but decided, my fans started drifting towards the exits. This baseball game of life was all but over friends. Even the most diehard fans, my family and closest friends had given up all hope of a comeback.

And then something miraculous and astonishing happened. Against all odds and much to the disbelief of anyone that knew me, I got sober. A comeback at this point of the ballgame would be one of the biggest comebacks in the history of life. Yet there were glimmers of hope as I (with the support and cheers of many) began to mount a comeback. Over the last few years of life I've remained sober. These middle innings have seen a few runs scored by "life" and several scored in my favor.

The baseball game of life goes on. I don't know what inning we are in, thankfully, but I'm hoping there are a few more to play. I'm not ready to end this game yet. It's just now been fun to play these past few years. I'm not even totally certain what the score is anymore. I'm certain it's a close game and with the comeback we've had to mount to get here I'm ok with that. I am convinced that if I'm going to win this baseball game of life I'm going to have to continue to play aggressive. I'm going to have to call for the hit and run occasionally. We might have to use the squeeze play or the double steal. In this game of life I'm aware that the greater the risks the greater the potential for reward.

I also know that down the stretch in these last innings of the game I've got some all-star teammates playing with me. I've got the ultimate designated hitter in a recovery support group. They never fail to drive in runs when called upon to hit. When we get to the last innings I know I've got the ultimate closer. I've got a higher power in my life who is just waiting to come in from the bullpen to close out a successful ballgame. As the game of life continues to be played the stands have filled back up. As I step up to the plate for yet another at bat my eyes slowly scan the stands. I see my three beautiful children sitting right behind my team's dugout avidly cheering for Daddy. My family has once again returned to watch the game, cheering more loudly than every. I've got a wonderful companion in my life who is proudly wearing a jersey with my number on it in support. I've got dozens and dozens of friends who start to cheer more and more loudly as the game becomes more and more of a nail biter. I look up into the clouds and see the image of my late Father, wearing his well worn Cardinals hat no doubt, smiling from ear to ear, enjoying another great ballgame.

I don't know what the outcome of this ballgame will be my friends. That's the beauty of baseball. The fact that anything can happen. What I do know is that if I continue to stick to the fundamentals and basics of the game I will have a chance to win. It's baseball. It's life. It's rarely boring. Life is like baseball my friends. In the end there is no such thing as a bad day at the ballpark.

I hope y'all enjoy a good Thursday and never give up in your own personal "game of life."

Changes

Mother Nature is finally starting to realize that it's supposed to be spring. My three children are all doing exceptionally well. My first season of softball in many years is well under way and at 4-2 as a team we are doing well. Spenser's pee wee baseball season has begun and he is doing well and enjoying himself. My beloved St. Louis Cardinals are in first place. I just recently celebrated my fifth continuous year of sobriety. I remain gainfully employed at a fairly rewarding job. I'm constantly surrounded by some of the most loyal and loving friends that God has ever allowed to grace planet Earth. I have a beautiful and loving woman in my life who has agreed to someday marry me. For all intents and purposes everything in life is looking good. Yet I've experienced several bouts of crankiness and moodiness lately.

For some reason every several months or so I experience these "growth" opportunities. I'm certain that most of my friends in recovery can relate to this. We often repeat a well worn phrase in recovery circles, "You either grow or you go." Sometimes I wonder if we even think about what these phrases actually mean before we parrot them to others.

You either grow or you go. It doesn't leave a lot of room for other options. The gist of the statement is that one either continues to grow spiritually and emotionally or that they will eventually drink and return to their old "un-sober" ways. It's a statement that I've seen bear some truth over my five year recovery journey. Those that don't change enough of their behaviors often do wind up not being sober. I certainly don't ever want to fall into the category of "goers."

So what is one to do when faced with the challenge of growing? Why is it that in the midst of a beautifully blessed life one becomes restless and uneasy? Surely I must be doing something wrong. I've done the gratitude lists and performed the daily meditations. I continue to actively sponsor men. I'm active in my recovery home group. I talk with my sponsor on a weekly basis. I suit up and show up to my obligations. The only thing left to do is the one thing I know will undoubtedly guide me through my growing; trudge.

Trudge is an odd word to use in conjunction with living a blessed life. Trudge - a long tedious walk. To walk wearily. Some have defined trudge as to move forward slowly. Anyway you look at it trudging is not a glamorous action. Yet I have found that the ability to trudge is one of my best assets. If life be troublesome and difficult, keep trudging and you'll get through. If life be splendid and a smashing success, keep trudging and you'll get through that too. One foot in front of the other. I know if I keep trudging long enough this too shall pass.

So I'm restless and cranky. I've identified that. Now what? Our old dear friend Mr. Personal Inventory pays a visit. As Eminem once said "I'm going through changes." Change...it isn't just for pockets anymore. It's one of those things in life that is constantly happening. The only thing that stays the same is that everything changes. I don't always adapt well to change. As a matter of fact I normally don't deal well with it at all. Especially when things change in life without my permission. I wish I was one of those mythical creatures who embrace change. Those that welcome it with wide open arms. Those are the folks usually running around with unicorns.

So I'm just going to hang on real tight and enjoy the ride. I'm going to put one foot in front of the other and continue to trudge the long tedious road of life. Somewhere along the way, whether it be in a day or two or a week or three, I will realize that I've come through on the other side of this thing and all will be roses and sunshine and then that will eventually change too. It's just another period of growth opportunity. Come and join me as we trudge this road of happy destiny.